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Jesus was in a slump (figuratively AND literally, as they were laying with their head upside down over their bed and their legs propped up against the wall).

It had been a week and no text back from the guy they were crushin’ on. They messed up a major flower order for a wedding. AND…they had a big pimple show up on their forehead this morning. Ugh.

They knew they had two options: 1) Let themselves have a slump day–or what Mary/mom calls an “LCD” (Lost Cause Day*)--composed of couch-lazin’ and Gilmore Girls and rocky road. Or 2) buck themselves up a bit…but how?

As they were pondering, they heard soft singing and caught a whiff of something bright coming from the kitchen. They dismounted with a thump from their bed and cracked their bedroom door open. They witnessed Joseph humming and stirring a big pitcher of electric yellow lemonade, squeezing the fruit as they stirred.

As they cracked their door a little further, Joseph turned to inspect the noise. In an instant, psychically-inclined Joseph seemed to understand Jesus’s current state and simply said “want some?” with a twinkle in his eye.

Jesus did want some.

Black Pepper

The gulps of lemonade did the trick–their heart felt fuller and golder. Jesus was ready to buck up. They knew some thrifting would also be a good decision.

Hmm should I invite Mary Mag? Her thrift-rhythm is so slow tho. Maybe make her come out with me later, and thrift solo first?

Yes, thrift solo first.

They sat at their lilac vanity and ignored the pimple. Some face SPF, a little blush, a swift brush thru their brown, curly hair. A silvery-black glitter eyeshadow, called “Black Pepper,” swiped across their lids.

They were awake now–giddy even. They threw on some light blue jorts and a red ringer t-shirt–going for late 70s-queer femme-greek life. One last look in the mirror…pimple and all, they look cute.

Time to head to “Geranium,” their fav thrift store.

Geranium Rose

Geranium has a pink exterior, making it extra inviting…to Jesus, at least. Two large pots of red rose geraniums frame the entrance, which Jesus says hello to as the door’s bells announce their arrival.

Inside, the wooden floor creaks under Jesus’s sneaks and the soft purr of vintage crooners emits from a speaker.

“Hey Ophelia!”

Ophelia, the shop owner, looks up briefly from her magazine, nods her head, and pops a big bubblegum bubble between her perfectly scarlet-shaded lips.

This is Jesus’s third visit to Geranium in a month so they figure Ophelia has no new gossip to share.

Okay…time to zone in. Jesus speaks a secret language when it comes to thrifting…can spot an excellent piece before they’ve even touched it.

30 minutes go by but to Jesus, it feels like 2.

The haul: A soft pink silk scarf with a red diamond design; black carhartt overalls (for Mary Mag); a fitted ruffled crop top, like the one Ann-Margaret wears in Bye Bye Birdie; and the prize: a brown, faux-suede purse with two-foot fringe!!

As Jesus pays “Ophelia Ennui,” (Mary Mag’s nickname, not theirs), they text their BFF:

heyy! whatcha doin’ 2nite?

washing my feet, why?

Ha. get those feet clean cus we are going out!!!!!!!!!!! bring that perfume you wore the other night with you. Xx


Mary Mag comes over late, as usual, but her reaction to the overalls makes up for it. It’s hard to get Mary Mag visibly hyped–or even to smile–so Jesus relishes their bff’s excitement.

“Omg J these are excellent. I’ll wear them tonight with that sexy black cross-strap bandeau you have.”

“Would you wear clothes if it weren’t for me?”

“...probably not, honestly.”

The two friends help each other get ready, zipping zippers, perfecting eyeliner, taking selfies, blasting Wet Leg.

The finishing touch is PRIDE, the perfume Mary Mag cheekily crafted in honor of her fav sin. They spritz each other and take in the scent–it makes them sing “Wet Dream” louder and stand taller–literally--Jesus straps on their tallest black wedges.

The two friends blow kisses to Mary and Joseph on their way out the door, their loud and proud energy casting a golden glow behind them.


Jesus shushes Mary Mag as she lets the front door crash behind her. She rolls her eyes at them but refrains from kicking her shoes off and instead slips them off, placing them gently next to the door.

The friends tiptoe into the kitchen and Jesus pours them two big glasses of lemonade.

They sit in Jesus’s bed–upright this time–sipping their lemonades and debriefing about the night (“Can you believe he came up to me?? And chatted like he hadn’t just ghosted me for a week?? UGH!”). As they chat, Jesus lights a patchouli incense stick, filling the room with smokey ease.

Their chatter slows and Mary Mag nods to sleep, her head resting in the nook of Jesus’s shoulder. Jesus is sleepy and peaceful, world’s away from the slumpiness of the morning.

Slumps are okay. The only way to know a day of goodness like today is to know a slump.

Pimples included.

Interested in a bottle of PRIDE to support you thru the slumps and celebrate you thru the goodness?? Purchase here! Both oil-based and alcohol-based bottles available.

Thanks for reading, scent-sual babes.

Your perfumer & witch, maryadelle

(*"Lost Cause Day" is a term my friend Julie shared with me. Love you, Julie!)

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